letting go.
two of my good friends are paired off now, finally. i should be happy for them, fuck i really should.
nope i can't, not yet at least, i'm human, i'm not perfect, i can't do this letting go thing, in the way that i thought i could. i act like i can, but it's all churning inside me. emotion and crap. i spent most of last night and this morning turning - not tossing - in bed. (no way should you toss around in bed; in the conventional meaning it's physically difficult esp with the sheets on, in the less conventional meani-- nvm) quoting adam: "I have until next week to stop being a basket case. fuck fuck fuck."
taking two lines of Cecil Day-Lewis completely out of context:
Selfhood begins with a walking away,
And love is proved in the letting go.
fuck, indeed.
nope i can't, not yet at least, i'm human, i'm not perfect, i can't do this letting go thing, in the way that i thought i could. i act like i can, but it's all churning inside me. emotion and crap. i spent most of last night and this morning turning - not tossing - in bed. (no way should you toss around in bed; in the conventional meaning it's physically difficult esp with the sheets on, in the less conventional meani-- nvm) quoting adam: "I have until next week to stop being a basket case. fuck fuck fuck."
taking two lines of Cecil Day-Lewis completely out of context:
Selfhood begins with a walking away,
And love is proved in the letting go.
fuck, indeed.
Labels: Life
posted by Unknown at
9:28 am
1 Comments:
hey rayner,
i know what you mean... sigh, i don't know why love should inadvertently cause so much sadness and hate in the general sphere of things. Seems quite odd if you ask me.
and being human is perfectly acceptable. well. duh. just that it can get quite painful unfortunately lol
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