why start now...

... just when I'm hating it all?

I've been thinking of restarting this blog, for quite some time now. Held back because I think it'll be a blight on the literary landscape of this sodden Earth. Besides who wants to read the miserable rantings of a bitter misanthrope? And one who regularly insults his readers too...

you out there, behind your computer screen... why?

All the same, life isn't that bad... just prelims in a couple of days, and... A levels in Nov... 10 sets of tree fibre and ink determining what shape my life's going to take. After all, if life didn't regularly set out to kill me, it wouldn't be worth living, would it?

- aha and I've already started screwing around with your brains O.o -

Over the last two years I've experienced a lot of stuff, seen loads of people, changed my mind about a whole lot of things. A lot of the old stuff I wrote, for instance, is thoroughly embarrassing now... very cringeworthy. (Somehow Ivan Lim dug my old posts up for I don’t know what reason and read them... I’m glad it gave you a few laughs lol. Maybe that pushed me to restart this thing.)

I’ve also managed, in spite of some of my classmates’ best efforts, to retain and refine my worldview. I used to be plagued by doubts, not really the ‘does God exist’ kind (my mind’s pretty much made up on that one already) but stuff like... how does an atheist avoid becoming a nihilist? After all - when you’ve stopped believing in the divine, what else is there? Well, there is humanism - believing in the innate worth of humanity; but how do you reconcile THAT with misanthropy - hating human society/humanity in general?

Here’s my worldview, then, for what it’s worth. I’m an atheist, and a humanist. Not an extremist atheist, I don’t give a damn what you believe in, honestly. Humanity, for me, is scum on the face on the earth (that’s the misanthropy bit), but when push comes to shove we can do great things - and that’s why life’s worth all its dreary disgusting misery. When I want life affirmation I listen to a recording of Beethoven’s 9th, Sibelius’ 5th or Nielsen’s 4th. (I mean their symphonies) Fabulous fabulous stuff.

But I didn’t set up this blog to evangelise lol. I guess what I’m going to do here over the next few... days, weeks... months... dare I say tempt fate and say years? is give voice to the voices in my head... Anything from misanthropic rants about b--- - I mean people - on the MRT to exam angst to raving about random music, concerts, whatever. Singing a song of my life.

Just hope it’ll be worth sixpence.