phew.

ok so we were at the hall. the new principal talked some crap, gave us some stats, no names mentioned...

and then she let the civics tutors carry on with their job, and we waited for ages and ages as sowden congratulated and comforted and consoled everyone... and i couldn't stand it anymore so i cut the queue in front of XY, after daniel ong haha. he gave me this priceless look - slightly tense, worried, eyebrows furrowed (sowden's eyebrows speak volumes. plus they're half greyed, half black, and that adds whole shades of meaning, pardon the pun) - and scared me half-shitless. i was on the edge of the seat; fingers kind of loosely gripping the sides... scared shitless is pretty much it.

then he handed me the slip and broke into a pretty wide grin. and as my eyes rolled down the thing i heaved the most massive sigh of relief i've ever let loose in my life. grinning from ear to ear like a freaking cheshire cat. wow. thank goodness. thank God. (thought i'd never say that, but...)

ok i'll cut to the chase. it's all A's and a distinction for H3 econs. i blinked and they were still there, i pinched and didn't wake up. so it's true.

couldn't have done it without all the teachers - rj's teachers are fantastic, they know their shit, and they really have a knack of coaxing the best out of their students. couldn't have done it without my enthu classmates and friends, who spurred me on and inspired me to work like siao and prove my worth. couldn't have done it without the support of my parents too.

actually i'm wondering how i did it in the first place. but heck... i'm not complaining. hell no.

grats to the lot of you. lots of screams of joy and hugs and all that in the hall... i'm sure lots of people are (as the warrant officers in my company say - can't avoid the apt phrase) "happy like fuck".

i guess now we need to remember friends out there who need our support. and do what duty and friendship demands of us.

-----

i don't know how to truncate this; it wouldn't work otherwise. and i know it's a ridiculously, hilariously common choice, but IMO it doesn't at all diminish the meaning of the poem. it's not one of the world's favourite poems for nothing.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

-- Rudyard Kipling