posting.

grats to all you guys who made the cut for OCS.

i didn't. getting posted to SISPEC is immensely demoralising. sure it's command school, but it'll be like BMT all over again, minus the Good Blokes who made life there tolerable. nearly everyone i know is going to OCS. well, except for those who didn't make IPPT or sitest. and the PES C SLACKERS. i'll certainly face an uphill task finding new friends, especially given what's on my mind now (family situation and all).

most people say it's easy to make friends in army; just loosen up and talk cock. problem is that with the set of interests that i have, i can only talk cock to anglophile bibliophile music-lovers with a Pythonesque sense of humour. don't play soccer, don't dota, don't dig any sport at all, don't follow american idol, don't watch tv unless you count things like little britain and peep show... i could go on.

and i'm inclined to be serious; it's a defence mechanism i've cultivated. to loosen up would be dangerously close to revealing too much of myself, and i'm not willing to do that. peel a thin layer off my personality and you'll find some dangerously sore and festering wounds. the upshot of all of that is that i'm a social misfit.

yet if i want to cross over from sispec to ocs after 3 months (bslc), i'm going to have to find ways of turning myself into a Good Bloke. (get my fitness in order too, but that's another story). just don't have an inkling of how to go about doing that. fux.

well... those of you who know me - there aren't many of you - you'll understand?

all you OCS dudes... i'll be hoping to join you guys in 3 months. it'll be hell but i'll make it or die trying.

maybe literally.

fuxorz.