ack!

ack! i haven't been here for about a hundred years now. you can guess can't you.

well i've been busy doing nothing. do you know what nothing is? it's what i've been posting on this blog for the last, say, 2 weeks.

blogging is a good idea. if i didn't blog during the 8 week holiday my fingers might atrophy and drop off. cos i don't practise anyway.

blogging is also a good idea cos it helps you to practise your english. or italian if you happen to be blogging in italian. or klingon for that matter.

i think blogging is good: it helps exercise the brain. see? in the last three paras i've articulated roughly the same thing but 3 different sentence structures. muhaha i rule Wolrd. Wolrd is the name of my... pet cheese. it's parmesan.

parmesan cheese stinks but people put it on pizzas and pastas. (technically i think you say pizzi and pasti because that's what the italians do. but that sounds hilarious.) i keep my cheese in airtight containers to let it age like wine. cos the stench is what makes it extra special.

after seeing this, i guess you won't be eating cheese in a hurry, will you?

blogging is also good because it helps you to find random connections between things. 3 paras ago i subtly switched two letters around and rewired your brain as a result.

what will you have for christmas eve? not guests, or babies, or even the act of giving forth the aforementioned; i'm talking about food. dinner. will you have pasti or pizzi avec parmesan cheesi from italia? or turkey? i mean the bird not the country. but then again turkey probably makes cheese. haha. i think i'd like roast beef because beef tastes really good. and potatoes and real bacon bits

i hate those bacon bits that come in plastic containers these days, cos they're made of soya bean extracts. have i told you about soya bean extracts yet? mcdonalds makes their meat patties with msg (monosodium glutamate), soya bean extracts, plasticine and salt.

i think i should stop now before someone sues me. that's one of the bad things about blogging. haha.