society

multitudes of numbers are marching across my conscience. dy by dx equals the sine of 2x times an old music box. "what is x?" and other metaphysical questions just don't and can't distract me from the truth anymore. the truth is that i don't care, and i've given up caring, and i don't want any smart-alecky types questioning whether i really care or not because i'm blogging about it and if i'm blogging i must care about something. over-reasoning is just dumb.

music can't help me. it's just a means of escape. and i can't escape because to escape means to return. just that the escape means the difference between sleeping now and 10 minutes later. it's kind of paradoxical. music increases my current happiness. but it decreases it tomorrow because it robs me of sleep time. and hell, we all need sleep.

our shared air-conditioned values of equality and brotherhood and living the examined life just can't keep the will in me. the question that confronts me now is: is it better to stay up till past midnight just to finish all that work, or give up and live life? if living life means exchanging an education for present happiness, i have to choose the former. an education offers a greater chance of success, measured in the eyes of our society. and i have to respect that since i'm a member of this society, with all its flaws.

are people solely the products of their society? if they are, can they transcend this? how?

please let me know the answer.