maybe boredom is erotic

- or so Atwood wrote in The Handmaid's Tale (Chapter 13). But I beg to differ; I've been bored for ages and it hasn't put me in the mood for anything.

Contrary to popular belief I'm not happy with my job. When you're cooped up in a 3×7m office all day with only one other person you begin to form a deep-seated resentment against him/her. In short, my job's a mindless tedium - conducted in Chinese, which makes it worse. If you make any mistakes you get an absolute earful (in Chinese). You haven't met anal till you've met my superior. If you check the dictionary for anal you might find her name inside. And my colleague and partner in misery is ORDing on Tuesday, bugger. I'm terribly handicapped compared to him - I can't flirt with auntie-types in Chinese. I'm already inept enough (socially) in English... damnitall.

My social life is in tatters. The people I usually go out with are all overseas or mugging for A levels. I'm too lazy to call up other people, coordinate calendars, find cool spots for meals or good movies... and face it, as the geog guys know, my outing ideas are often crap. (Guys, remember tartines? ^^) I haven't heard from some friends in ages. I'm not sure if they're lost in Africa; maybe I should greet them like Henry Stanley: "Dr Livingstone, I presume?" Forgive me if I don't recognise you guys any more. But then again it's your fault too!

Yeah I think life in a monastery might be better. At least it might be mentally challenging. And I'm a sucker for austerity and passive masochism - how else to explain the love of classical music, novels and yogurt?

The only consolation is my piano is improving slightly, and I'm reading lots: in the last week, Atomised by Houellebecq, Middlesex by Eugenides (quite brilliant) and The Gospel According to Jesus Christ by Jose Saramago (chillingly heretical). You must read Middlesex, it's a very unusual narrative voice, and Eugenides writes extremely convincingly and evocatively.

Maybe I should get a good bicycle and do the 40km loop of park connectors. Though I haven't cycled in years; I might crash into a tree and mangle myself. But then again, surely that'd be more erotic than boredom...