godsend

Borders coupons! Woohoo you know where I'll be this afternoon heh...

boum

Crazy song, I can't remember where I first heard it. Yup he looks like he's gone bonkers, but forgive him he's French.

La pendule fait tic tac tic tic
Les oiseaux du lac pic pac pic pic
Glou glou glou font tous les dindons
Et la jolie cloche ding dang dong

[Mais...]

Boum!
Quand notre coeur fait Boum
Tout avec lui dit Boum
Et c'est l'amour qui s'éveille

Boum!
Il chante "love in bloom"
Au rythme de ce Boum
Qui redit Boum à l'oreille

Tout a changé depuis hier
Et la rue a des yeux qui regardent aux fenétres
Y a du lilas et y a des mains tendues 
Sur la mer le soleil va paraître

Boum!
L'astre du jour fait Boum
Tout avec lui dit Boum
Quand notre coeur fait Boum Boum

Le vent dans les bois fait hou hou hou
La biche aux abois fait mé mé mé
La vaisselle cassée fait cric crin crac
Et les pieds mouillés font flic flic flac

[Mais...]

Boum!
Quand notre coeur fait Boum
Tout avec lui dit Boum
L'oiseau dit Boum, c'est l'orage

Boum!
L'éclair qui lui fait Boum
Et le bon Dieu dit Boum
Dans son fauteuil de nuages

Car mon amour est plus vif
Que l'éclair, plus léger qu'un oiseau qu'une abeille
Et s'il fait Boum s'il se met en colère
Il entraîne avec lui des merveilles

Boum!
Le monde entier fait Boum
Tout l'univers fait Boum
Parc'que mon coeur fait Boum Boum
Je n'entends que Boum Boum
Ça fait toujours Boum Boum
Boum Boum Boum Boum Boum!

There's a sucky (and incomplete) translation here.

Ouch.

As I caught sight of the front page of today's Sunday Times I felt 2 distinct waves of feeling, one emotional, one physical: 

horror

and

nausea.

If Tan Kin Lian gets on the ballot for elected President, sticks and stones may break my bones but I'll crawl to any voting station to vote against him. (Unless President Nathan somehow ends his term early, I'll be voting age come 2011.) And if Tan Kin Lian gets voted in I will surely pack my bags and leave in disgust.

This man is a painful orator in both English and Chinese; he's a populist of the worst kind, and a disingenuous and deluded egomaniac. This is what our beloved national paper of record's beloved sister Sunday paper says: "Get me 100,000 signatures" and he'll run for office - so politics is just a sheer popularity contest to him; "I don't need this kind of trouble" - so elected office is troublesome to him; his political ambitions "are for Singapore" - so he would be the panacea to our ills, would he indeed! 

Our former presidents were all distinguished, respected and responsible members of society. This man... Words fail to describe the extent to which I find this man unsuitable to hold any position of responsibility. The only office he should get to is a psychiatrist's.

I've been published...

Finally haha. I am gratified to note that my letter was published at the top of the Forum page, which means I've joined the crackpot ranks of George Lim (woohoo!) and less dubious commentators like Narayana Narayana (I still rmb his name, that's how many letters he wrote). I am annoyed, however, at the errors the editor introduced to my letter. The most glaring one is the title he gave it: nowhere in my letter do I argue (exclusively) for a 2-party system!

It's sadly constrained by the 400-word limit. I still maintain that it's impossible to develop a coherent and comprehensive argument within that; but maybe in it's infinite wisdom our beloved ST has figured out that most Singaporeans can't sustain their attention for more than 5 paras. ^^

-----

My original submission follows:

Dear Sir,

I refer to recent letters regarding Singapore's political system.

In my view the debate boils down to this question: is the potentially monolithic mindset of a single-party system more dangerous than the chaotic free-wheeling debate engendered by a multiparty democracy? I believe that, all things considered, the balance of benefits and costs comes out in favour of the latter.

Dr Tan notes that a multiparty system is no guarantee against groupthink – but compared against a single-party system, surely it provides at least an assurance that more views are heard? Mr Tim points out that PAP MPs have challenged ministers, but these are often on finer points of policy, not on the very direction of Singapore's development – no PAP MP would throw out their party's manifesto or risk the Party Whip.

Dr Tan cites the PAP's experience in its defence – however it is fallacious to argue that past experience guarantees future performance, as anyone who has read the fine print on financial products will know. Experience did not prevent PAP town councils from investing in a manner more befitting an investment banker than a government body; neither did it prevent the LDP from plunging Japan into a decade of stagnation.

More importantly, Singapore's past growth was built on emulating best practices from around the world, policies that worked for decades. This justified the need for a strong and decisive executive. Now that Singapore has entered the ranks of the developed nations, this strategy no longer suffices. Experience does not prevent us from making mistakes, worse, it creates an environment of complacency and lethargy.

Together with the rest of the developed world we are entering unchartered territory in terms of economic and demographic development. Experience counts for little in this new game; experience cannot provide the paradigm shifts that characterise pivotal moments in history: the Industrial Revolution, the Meiji Revolution, or Roosevelt's New Deal. The fast-evolving global landscape Mr Tim references is precisely what necessitates the development of a marketplace of ideas in Singapore.

Moreover, it must fall to an outsider to point this out: the PAP's self-interest is, above all, its own survival. Singaporeans must de-link the fortunes of our nation with those of our ruling party; surely all of us would agree that even if the PAP were to fall one day on the back of mismanagement or bad governance, Singapore herself cannot afford to fall.

new links

1 humour and 4 opinion sites in a new Singapore section. I've been meaning to find good Singaporean news/opinion sites for some time, but sadly, many bloggers here are either mindnumbingly dull, devoid of intellectual content, or single-mindedly contrarian. Not like I love the PAP, but they aren't the devil incarnate either...

Speaking of which, I wrote to the ST forum. And amazingly, they called back in 2 hours. O.o ISD probably will be adding another report to my file soon haha

first driving lesson

woo. quite stressing. a bit scary. quite fun & kinda enjoyable. although all i did, really, was just start the engine, release the clutch & tap the accelerator a bit. and reverse O.o wow. cool.

Re: ST Forums: George Lim archive

(w00tz welcome back adam!)

Check this out: The 6 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Old School PSAs. I'm sure this's the kind of public education film George Lim would be making in his happy retirement, in between walking the dog, watering the plants and playing with his neighbours' children (no reference to paedophilia intended)... I'll give you a quick run-down of just the first page:

1. Perversion for Profit
   In this 1965 film you learn that porn entices innocent teens to enter the world of "homosexuals, lesbians, sadist, masochists, and other sex deviants". There's a hilarious cartoonish "perversion for profit" octopus engulfing the continental US on the first placard the host's holding, check it out! And *shock-horror* porn caused sixteen of the nineteen major civilisations to vanish from the earth! Apparently it goes on to show 20 minutes of pornographic images... rofl. Kinda defeating the purpose, no?
   
   
2. Boys Beware
   Lol. Homosexuality is contagious, according to this one. "Like smallpox." The narrator sounds so measured and reassuring, makes you lap up everything he says. And the background music is priceless haha - pastoral flutes for the innocent teens; drumbeats for the approach of the shadowy, sinister, demented Homosexual. Oh dear...
   
   
3. Habit Patterns (1954) & Body Care and Grooming (1948)
   Haha the background music is probably a period thing. Equally priceless this one: "It's a bit late for tears, isn't it Barbara?" And the other film: to the sound of growling violin trills and tremolos, the narrator comments "We're trying to prove a point about nature and beauty, and... you're not exactly helping, you know? Look at your hair. Look at that blouse. And the way that skirt hangs. And those socks. (...) You don't seem to be exactly the type to make this guy behave like a human being" as opposed to a demented sex predator, maybe?

Oh the next page is pretty amazing too. We learn that the danger of falling radiation and debris is over within a minute and a half of a nuclear bombing. "Have Americans got the guts? *turns to face camera* Have you got the guts?" lmao.

I'm sure our dear George (who I think will become a recurring figure of fun on this blog) will take comfort in these glorious movies of the 50s and 60s.

outside my flat

serious!

(alright it's for lift upgrading, but still!)

they should put it on my neighbour's door hahaha

ST Forums: George Lim archive

http://gssq.livejournal.com/150751.html
http://www.drmikeloh.com/07/jun01.htm

I was laughing my butt off at this bumbling social reformer/moraliser George Lim Heng Chye and his missives to the Straits Times forum page. Oh dear me... Well yeah, some of his letters are reasonable: Man exposed himself to boys yeah that sounds horrible, but oh geez read this!- All the movies are about sex and violence. Time for censors to act:

I turned to the cinema pages of the Life! Section in the Straits Times last Saturday and noted the sort of movies being shown in town. The main themes focussed on violence, crime, death and sex. Here are some of the movies:

• The Black Dahlia - about Hollywood’s most infamous sex murders;
• Dead man’s shoes - about revenge;
• Silk - about spirits;
• Death Note - about death;
• The Departed - a crime drama;
• Wet hot sake - about sex, sleaze and sensuality;
• My Summer of Love - more sex and sleaze.

The other movies are about inconsequential events. These are time-wasters and sad to watch:

• Talladega Nights - about brainless and crazy people with fast cars;
• World Trade Centre - a disaster;
• Rob -B-Hood - no theme.

These movies do not provide any wholesome and meaningful lessons in life. The more a person watches them, the more he would be made to feel that life is hopeless and meaningless.

Movie directors are happily ripping off the public by giving us worthless movies that harm us.

It is useless to bar only children and those below 18 from watching these movies as the tasteless pictures in the media continue to defile good sense and morals.

Where are our educators? Why are they silent on this sad state of affairs? What does our conscience tell us about such movies being screened in public? Do we have a conscience at all?

One may argue that we have a choice not to watch these shows. But if it Hobson’s choice everyday with such low quality movies, where is the freedom for one to choose a wholesome and good movie when none is available?

What about the public’s right to see good movies? And why do we create for ourselves a famine of morally enriching shows?

A movie that is worthwhile watching would give hope to the viewer about the meaning of life and its purpose. A good movie should result in stirring a person’s mind and heart to do good for society. It should focus on wholesome family values of love and care, and respect for the elders and the government.

How should we rate a movie for its value? We should not give ratings to reflect its popularity based on violence, crime and sex, but instead focus on good values such as kindness, gentleness, love, peace, goodness, faithfulness, self-control and joy.

Unfortunately, none of these good values can be found in the movies mentioned above. Movies that espouse the desirable values are rare. These are ‘Chariots of Fire’ and ‘Akeelah and the Bee’. I particularly enjoy watching Jack Neo’s portrayal of our primary school system in ‘I not stupid’.

Yet if it remains only a portrayal of our country’s meritocratic education system, it alone would not be able to help us make further progress. It is not enough just to point out society’s ills. The movie’s director should have concluded the show with lessons on corrective measures for the public.

I would like the Board of Film Censors to critically review and evaluate the quality of the movies currently being screened in public. The guiding principle of the authority should always be driven by good and responsible values that promote hope, compassion and love. And it should not be influenced by the public’s lust for sex, violence and death that leads to a sense of hopelessness for the viewer.

I've reproduced his letter in full to let the full measure of his naivete sink in. I don't know; my egalitarian instincts and political-correctness gearstick prevent me from saying anything more than that he must have had a very sad and disturbed childhood.

It seems that giving this letter an answer would merely glorify it. But since our venerable newspaper of record published it - and I'm sure many people were nodding their heads in agreement on reading his letters - it would seem that it is worthy of an answer.

Brilliant right? As if film censorship wasn't enough, this guy wants to dictate what movies we watch, so that only films with upright values get shown, so as to educate and improve young minds.

Tosh! Does Mr George Lim live in snooty Victorian England or does he have a ten-foot pole up his shithole? He intends to perpetrate social engineering - and not just that, he intends to do so by screening Chariots of Fire! Any of you - us - youngsters would lap that up? Anyone out there as ridiculously inexperienced in the ways of the world, as dear George?

The world is meaningless and hopeless and ugly and filthy and corrupt and depraved and rich and beautiful and wonderous and human in its depravity, deal with it! Even good clean family-friendly Mozart wrote the piece "Lick me in the arse"! Go on, George, ban Mozart! This time I'm with you all the way!

I absolutely detest this self-righteous sense of moral rectitude that he exudes with every word. I drip with scorn.

Sure, rate movies on how they portray values of kindness and love. I'm sure he wants to watch Barney all day, too. Or maybe not - he might take actually offence at Barney's paedophilic, effeminate and *shock horror* homosexual image! He's purple, for fuckssake!

Oh yeah, that reminds me - he has stuff to say on homosexuality too. But I'll let a better mind guide you through it: I've found an excellent and thoughtful blog by this guy Sam, who's incidentally commented on it. Go browse his other posts, it really is quite thought-provoking.

Alright that's it from me now; I've really gotta go sleep. Man, all that suppressed laughter was a good abs workout.

I am parody

I know lots of you out there have heard the Arrogant Worms' I am Cow. But have you heard Helen Reddy's I am Woman? It was hilarious when I first heard it and noticed the obvious similarities in melody and lyrics, particularly this:

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land

and this

I am cow, here I stand
Far and wide upon this land
And I am living everywhere.

Brilliant! Made me love the Arrogant Worms even more haha.

new links

Cos of my really suck and slack job, right, I was traipsing around the net this morning (after a 3km morning run; welcome to live activities!) and rediscovered fark.com, together with a couple of other humour sites: cracked.com and Holy Taco. Really funny stuff. Check them out, down the sidebar there! >>>

maybe boredom is erotic

- or so Atwood wrote in The Handmaid's Tale (Chapter 13). But I beg to differ; I've been bored for ages and it hasn't put me in the mood for anything.

Contrary to popular belief I'm not happy with my job. When you're cooped up in a 3×7m office all day with only one other person you begin to form a deep-seated resentment against him/her. In short, my job's a mindless tedium - conducted in Chinese, which makes it worse. If you make any mistakes you get an absolute earful (in Chinese). You haven't met anal till you've met my superior. If you check the dictionary for anal you might find her name inside. And my colleague and partner in misery is ORDing on Tuesday, bugger. I'm terribly handicapped compared to him - I can't flirt with auntie-types in Chinese. I'm already inept enough (socially) in English... damnitall.

My social life is in tatters. The people I usually go out with are all overseas or mugging for A levels. I'm too lazy to call up other people, coordinate calendars, find cool spots for meals or good movies... and face it, as the geog guys know, my outing ideas are often crap. (Guys, remember tartines? ^^) I haven't heard from some friends in ages. I'm not sure if they're lost in Africa; maybe I should greet them like Henry Stanley: "Dr Livingstone, I presume?" Forgive me if I don't recognise you guys any more. But then again it's your fault too!

Yeah I think life in a monastery might be better. At least it might be mentally challenging. And I'm a sucker for austerity and passive masochism - how else to explain the love of classical music, novels and yogurt?

The only consolation is my piano is improving slightly, and I'm reading lots: in the last week, Atomised by Houellebecq, Middlesex by Eugenides (quite brilliant) and The Gospel According to Jesus Christ by Jose Saramago (chillingly heretical). You must read Middlesex, it's a very unusual narrative voice, and Eugenides writes extremely convincingly and evocatively.

Maybe I should get a good bicycle and do the 40km loop of park connectors. Though I haven't cycled in years; I might crash into a tree and mangle myself. But then again, surely that'd be more erotic than boredom...

bye-bye bush

It's hard not to be overawed by the immensity and momentousness of it all. Even Dubya must be astonisherated. It's taken this long for Black America to produce a president, but they've finally done it. I think it shows there's still a place for ideals like equality and justice in the world, and for that Americans deserve to be proud of themselves.

The thing about the US is that more than any other nation it was founded on values, not just thirst for power, wealth, people or land, and it has sacrificed much for its values. Without those values there might still be slaves, Europe might be facist, Asia might be communist, and the world might be worse off. 

Still, it remains to be seen how President-elect Obama will handle the mess he's inherited; it's not a pretty sight, and it's going to take more than just solid competence to clean up after Bush. Now, I guess the world's just holding its breath, waiting in hope.